I would like to apologize if you've taken offense to, will take offense to, have been triggered, or will be triggered by the sentiments indicated by this network ID. I'm not going to change it because I feel it's important to speak about this while bearing the burden of this macro-aggressive exclamation to further emphasize my point. If you are listening to this audio version, which is the second version of part one of my series regarding this network ID on which I'm posting this memo as well as this audio version at this particular point in time -- and may I remind you will lead to an ultimately constructive and rewarding point should you choose to continue listening -- you may not be looking at the screen. When I give an indication of some sort or reference a long space I intend to give for those who are reading only, please look at the screen until you have scrolled down six, seven, eight, or nine scrolls of whatever non-offensive term for your choice in accessory of your choice you choose to refer to the object which you utilize the scroll function on screens -- although I am aware there are some of you who may not be reading at all, and in which case, you may choose to not pay as close attention to this part of the audio memo -- and suggest you press that six, seven, eight, or nine times before looking back to the text on the screen, which I must emphasize is certainly important and worth the attention required to focus on an address for such a long time. At that point you will no longer be subjecting yourself to such unpleasant language on my network ID. For those of you who are listening, you may not have been paying attention to what it was that my network ID says. I would like you to simply ignore it for now, as that isn't important at the moment and I will refer to it again later. Now, as I was saying, this is all very important information and I do believe it deserves your undivided attention to my essay. No, my public dissertation.

While it can be referred to as a "speech," this is an inaccurate term for what I'm doing at present, as I suppose I am not reading word-for-word from the original written document and I am truly dissecting the meaning of the word and explaining in a blow-by-blow fashion, which further emphasizes the importance that I made a decision in feeling it was right not to restrict the growth of this subject and allow it to take its own direction, however speech-like it may or may not be, so it could develop into the truly magnificent dissertation on the subject of speech it is, though that was not truly my intention at the moment. I believe in my previous version I mentioned I am not reading the original document as I record this, as I feel that would limit me to what I wish to say about this subject, which will follow shortly. I have attached this audio file from my dancestor's network ID -- and if you are confused on the term "dancestor" I believe it's self-evident, but please feel free to tell me to check my privilege if you require an explanation -- and although the original text states my addressing this aloud would be a matter entirely different from choosing to write it all out -- which, mind you, I have already done -- the only difference it really makes is the medium with which I'm choosing to deliver this deconstruction. Talk. Now, as with the written work I originally produced, I believe here is where I began to highlight points that illustrate why this dissertation is not quite an address.

An address is certainly something created with the intention of delivering to an audience -- public or private -- or it may be a place at which you reside. It may be your formal title or the fond way you refer to someone with whom you intend to engage in whatever relationship of your choosing -- I won't suggest anything here; please feel free to supply your own -- and you may choose to do this in public or private, but please be aware if you choose to express these things in public there may be some of us who are quite uncomfortable and become triggered by obvious displays of illicit affection and I'd like it if you respected that. Now, this is a public address because I am choosing to expose it to the public so as not to leave anyone out of this quite important topic. It could be a speech, however, if I was reading word-for-word from my original document or even referencing my original document, which I'm not except on occasion. If you truly like someone and they don't appear to return your affections, please refrain from following them to a public address. Although the address is public and known to all, this may be a place where this person has picked to engage in private thoughts away from your prying ganderbulbs.

If this public address was a literal address, it would contain an invitation to allow you all to attend, which is why I don't believe "private address" applies to this speech. Or dissertation. As I've mentioned before -- perhaps in this audio version of my dissertation or in the previous version but without a doubt in the written version -- I don't believe in the restriction of freedom of expression with exception to hurtful language designed to harm others. It's important not to discriminate against addresses -- public, private; physical, non-physical -- and understand that no matter what type of address it might be, that word still applies to it. We should accept addresses no matter in what form they choose to present themselves. As this is public and my preferred fashion of delivering a talk, I want you to be aware that if you take this to mean I have a problem with private addresses, I would like to explain I do not mind whether an address is public or private; I simply am choosing to express myself with a public address rather than a private address and I believe I have explained myself here enough. Everyone, regardless of the type of address this is, should be able to benefit from the topic I will cover presently. Please scroll down on your screen now if you are following along. If you continue scrolling long enough, you will see part two of this particular version -- the second version -- and you will be able to continue listening after you scroll up to the text written after the space.

[You may get the feeling this is a huge waste of your time.
Disregard that. Obviously your instincts need some fine-tuning.
We can fix that. Just listen to version two, part two.]